The spoon thief …..

http://butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

This article was brought to my attention by a twitter friend and I absolutely live the spoons theory!

It describes the way when you have an invisible illness, you need to make choices about how to get through each day.
Basically what and how to spend the energy allowance we have..,

For me personally, i am lucky, i believe as i only have to fight the endometriosis ( alittle flooding,a bipolar iron count, afew weird lumps a bit of discomfort….right ;-/ )
then some leg issues, clubby being the latest and it’s my ‘good’ leg!!!
Go figure!!
But some doctor said i wouldnt be walking at this age but i am damn sure ill be proving him wrong a great many years from now, and probably another reason this 10k is so important and attainable in my challenges….
Oh and a bright spark recogns the ADHD is from me 😉 no idea why ….,

Any way my kids… all three have an immune system and body that basically fights them!

Donation often contributed to their dad but its like the adhd on both sides i am sure!

We have good and bad times never know which one we are waking up
To or walking into at any point in time…

but when I read the spoons theory, i had to admit how hard it is to have auto immune conditions like so many do and then have mental health issues controlling those spoons too….

I mean if you have to wake up and decide what you can do but you can’t focus or remember what or how many spoons you have….
Mmm…. Difficult to see and do….

I suppose ADHD could be described as a spoon thief…..

Because I have lost count of the times I have been told that one of mine has completed a task but in fact half way through they got distracted and walked away but because they went to do the job they are one hundred percent sure they did it !
An typical Example is teeth brushing – went in the bathroom looked at the toothbrush realised needed the toilet did that first and forgot to brush teeth but because they looked and thought of the task they honestly think its done !

It’s difficult to explain unless you see or live with it, the level of frustration the games, a distracted brain plays with you and you home life !

Imagine then adding the extra conditions which affect your ability to function even down to every morsel that you eat, you or some one who cares, have to remember, focus! live it !

I have always believed for all that negative distraction and memory issues the positive is…., i believe, that they wouldnt cope with the illnesses the continued battles with eating.sleeping.itching.seeing.breathing etc…
without that extra drive,
the hyper activity,
the constant need for more all the time,
so I suppose I am more grateful than most for the hyper side to my guys !

And for all the inattention and issues that steal spoons, honestly believe the hyperactivity hands them back and afew others they stole from the tables of others !!

One of the reasons I tell my guys the ADHD is a gift …..

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Maybe that’s just me…
as a mother, trying to find the positive in everything they have or do,
or
maybe it’s my way of appeasing a mothers guilt, for making three beautiful but interesting people who have these struggles people don’t see or understand!

Well back to reality after my musing, the long weekends rest….,,,
It has been decided today after a rubbish effort in class on tuesday and a weak evenings run, that….resting hurts as much as working through the pain, actually more!!!
strange i know but it honestly true!!!

Anyway one of my running buddies agrees
she said tonight ” no days off” it has to be the statement of the day especially as it was her birthday when we ran!!!! I want to point out here…. she is inspirational herself, as she also struggles with an invisible condition so I say go birthday girl…
proud of you !!!!
And me and your mum too, even, if us two look like we ran a small marathon before you break a sweat we both know how much it takes 🙂 thankyou !

If wishes were dreams….

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“I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine.” ~ Neil Armstrong

Its a shame that such an inspirational man has past away…..but can’t help believing there’s a man who surpassed so many people’s dreams and made an impression on so many lives what more can any of us ask…

Living life fully and without regret is as strong a reason to have a bucket list, challenge list or even a twilight plan because it doesn’t matter what we call it really just that we admit to ourselves we are still living still striving to experience new things and if we die trying to be happy, what more can we ask of ourselves.

What makes me happy??

Well I’m Not particularly a materialist…..

‘things’ have never really been important…

Don’t get me wrong I like nice stuff…

And I keep loads of junk and memorabilia for the kids … Shockingly inconsistent of me I know!!!

But I so want my kids to have happy memories and when your memory is impaired you need a key !

I like photographs, ticket stubs and pictures as a means to remember they can trigger the memory right down to the smell in the air ( not always good with children with ibs ) but you get my meaning !

Maybe it’s the arty type in me I don’t know but it’s lovely to see something beautiful even better to have created it 🙂 Which is why I enjoy making pretty things..

so I suppose eventually I will restart my family scrap book another challenge as so much of the early yrs have been “lost in the move ” Beths term for all we left behind when we moved out of the family home several years ago !
It was difficult to fit everything in one car load but we got through that and have managed to rebuild or start again, and on the horizon is a new car well new to me 🙂 quite an interesting few months to come I think…

One of those days…..

Well I failed to attend four classes, which was a big personal disappointment but i did start the day with an epic session that out did, the feeble attempt yesterday, no idea what the reason was but yesterday it was like starting over again but my feet have travelled ten miles…. Woohoo!

So clever little me takes the dog for another two mile hike and will do it again tomorrow !

Ok so it’s not two classes but it is two extra sessions and fourteen miles which appeases my guilt alittle and as this is a personal challenge it’s only me I have to please right???

Who would of thought I was such a task master??? Not so good at the whole Balanced life thing it seems

I have a friend…a Good friend who regularly tells me life is all about balance….

When your on top of the world there’s always a situation waiting to bring you crashing down…

So basically I am standing on a massive slippy see saw, which with my epic sense of balance has gotta be alittle tragic…

Ambulance on standby…..

It’s actually that crazy the same friend has lent me a fabulous balance board as standing up straight is challenge and that’s without alcohol or lifting one foot!!!

Well anyway

As much as I try and I really do…. Honestly I do…..to see the positives in all things….sometimes, it’s just not possible and rather than yell and scream, I would much rather hide under a bush and lick my wounds till I can refresh the outlook on the situation!

Honestly… I don’t believe in allowing such behaviour to persist beyond a single night or day it’s just not productive….

Something learnt from experience unfortunately so this evening is just …..one of those days !

Why?

Well besides the delightful three children I produced who are all suffering from that condition called “teenager” (read that in someone else’s blog and thought yeah that covers it..)

Like most of us I have a series of saboteurs who seem to believe in undermining, demoralising and critising all that I do!

And yes I realise I can ignore and move on which is what will happen in the morning but for now dreams of a hitman or jail sentence are amusing me 😉

But all I can Truely say in my defense is until you have walked in my shoes, seen,heard,lived it don’t tell me I am doing it wrong, dont bad mouth me to my kids or friends theres a reason i walk away from negative people..

because i choose to …

But i am capable of saying Like most people I am not flawless but I will always try my very best…

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Weekend is catching up

Ouch ……ouch …..ouch…..

Okay,so I have to admit it…..

I know I won’t make four classes this week and this ten miles may kill me !
I feel disappointed and alittle cross that my fitness level is so dreadful :/

With that in mind i suppose my mojo is maybe alittle off, but with approximately fifteen hours sleep since Friday..I shouldn’t be so hard on myself I suppose !

No pain no gain right!!!

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Pika…pika

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Well after spending the week living on the edge of emotional meltdowns from the children and trying to meet my own challenges, I got the anxious eldest to sleep by allowing her to have my bed and caught some zzzzz at half two whilst she tossed and turn and shouted at me in her sleep ( i mean how dare i have a life away from her??? Doh… I forgot its my JOB lmao) before raising my tired legs outta bed at four thirty to spend 24 hrs boiling myself alive in a pika outfit at v festival …..

It was an epic day, my legs have bruises but my tired head is happy many thanks to Kung fu panda and the queen bee for making the day in Essex amazing !!!!

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I may well have been alittle sizzled and giggled my way round whilst looking for Alan or was it steve !!

Lots of mad photos taken by random strangers!

Best camper van ever !

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Happy daze!!!!!

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I am wonder woman……

“I am Wonder Woman – I wonder where I put my keys, I wonder where my money has gone, I wonder why I went upstairs… In fact, I just wonder why I wonder….” j. Robb fb/status

Pretty much describes my day on a regularly basis but that’s not a shocker !

Still having completed this weeks challenging schedule – 8 miles and 2 classes with no change to my day to day activities amazed there’s only a little swelling and achy ankles !

My rant for the week has to be, no matter how much I try or have a can do attitude there’s always some people out there willing to try and stop me, shame that they cant accept me for who I am and celebrate my determination, not that anyone who knows me honestly believes i would actually give a rats ass enough to stop … Mmmm unlikely !

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