‘Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious’ – Stephen Hawking

So here I am wondering …..

Trying to make sense of where I am….

I don’t know about you but for me being curious is a scary place at the moment in my bubble making do has become quite ‘normal’ and i hate normal all too much but listening to the negative voices around is actually too easy

you need to slow down
you do to much
you give them too good a life
You Cant do that your too old, too this or too that!
You’ve got ten years till you can do anything!

I heard people describe it as being stuck in a rut, or between a rock and a hard place, but isn’t the rut as much a state of mind yeah there’s alot of financial and physical barriers to stop
Me achieving the goals I would like but surely if I want it work for it and have a bigger scheme in mind with little goals then it’s achievable?

life is often hectic and about taking care of others somewhere in this it’s easy to forget who you are and what inspires you !

To be fair my kids inspire and exasperate me all the time ! They are amazing and by their nature their needs are often all consuming !

When I look at my eldest as she walks through somewhere covered in sore skin, being gawped at by morons, there she is feeling as ruff as can be but still trying, still smiling, I feel so proud of her the pain and emotional struggles are tuff on her yet she Like all teenagers can’t see just how amazing she actually is !

Then there’s the middle one with her constant sore throats, and blistering mouth still out there winning a singing competition because she tried, still not able to see her own talent !

Finally my youngest man who has struggled academically for years since we finally got the right support for him, coloured lenses and medication for concentration at school, has in a yr and a half nearly caught up with his class mates !

I wish I knew what else I could do to raise their self esteem to see what I see ……

Remember lead by example mmm
I might not do that part well not sure I see all I do….

all I achieve …..

Weirdly the blogging has helped logging past, present and future goals putting it in writing and adding pictures makes it more real….
Does that make me mad?

But this blog entry has taken forever to start and finish its meant to show my bucket list/ challenges whatever I should call it


go figure in the refurb I can’t find it so I suppose I’ll just need to write another !!!

Maybe a four thirty project and I can atleast cross of afew I have already done……

Cos that’s how my family rolls …..



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