Getting over any long term relationship really takes time and effort especially if that relationship spiralled into domestic abuse due to drugs/drink or mental instability.
Those negative voices and sweetly laced critism that the survivor of abuse hears regularly.
that conditioning and torture,
it sits with a person even when they have gotten out and stayed out!
Emotional abuse is not considered a viable excuse yet it is the longest lasting bruise…
In fact they tend to do the abusers job for them repeating the same negative things to themselves following the same patterns !
There’s a program called the freedom program which helps the ppl involved, it identifies the characteristics of an abusive relationship and teaches people to recognise signs of the behaviour in a partner.
For some it works in helping them gain the confidence to leave others to stay away and occasionally to recognise that the behaviour itself is domestic violence. It is suprising how many people don’t realise the unhealthy practices are not normal !
Sometimes due to childhood conditioning by victim mothers who stay in similar relationships ! But even if they get out.
What’s worse is when kids are left over from an abusive relationship and getting out, means you can’t stay away from the tormentor
The court system is stuck in a -he said she said – rocky place so the kids continue to see the abusive parent who has not changed and continues the cycle using the children as a reason to torment their prey!
What’s worse is the image Obbessive dominator can charm the pants off most people and convince family, friends, schools and people, one would hope had a brain or to quote philip scofield three minutes on google, they are victims of lies yet they always fall down eventually and still climb up in status,by smoke screen and charm alone, the adage of coming up smelling of roses springs to mind!
Never sure when or if the legal and social service can stop all this by removing dominator characters from there roles an it’s a shame !
In all honesty isn’t the best thing we can do is educate, so why not run the freedom project in all schools as part of life skill set ?
I heard this quote
“Tomorrow you promise yourself will be different, yet tomorrow is too often a repetition of today.”
― James T. McKay
Made me think of this situation and how to tackle the pressure of tomorrow when often challenges of yesterday are still there !
And for any survivor of abuse may your next minute or tomorrow, be that light bulb one, that accepts and allows you to have the courage to be you !