Trust

Those times when people hug you and you know it’s just another lie to get what they want is when you realise the trust is gone….

the disappointment knows no bounds….

but it makes you realise no matter what you do some people only take or fake for themselves…

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This is odd

With the snow and slippy, slidey paths comes no training run 😦

So I went to class with the kids which wasn’t so bad in actual fact some of the time I didn’t feel like I was doing the freshly caught salmon dance !

I also have resorted to trying the new pain relief as I have toothache in both hips.
With the ankle and knees i can strap them up but how do u do the hips exactly 😉

Beginning to think i should of taken lessons from the Egyptians !!

Still I am determined, four o clock howlers or not, I will get fitter and lead by example when managing my pain and fitness!

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Narnia and broken promises in search of control

No training run yesterday ….
No pancakes either ….
But hopefully the delivery of new gym machines will help prevent the stop on training…
But I still love the snow ….
I think it’s because I am a visual creative person that added beauty just always appeals 🙂
At the top of one of our roads ther are trees on either side that over hang at a height that causes no issue to traffic but as you turn in its like an archway and with snow dusted on the branches it’s like a magical narnia entrance or exit who knows but every time the beauty of it makes me smile 🙂

It’s half term here and I have had to keep plans very simple due to the recent and frequent breakdowns that one of mine keeps having today we have another trip to visit a councillor in fact it’s the last trip as this one feels under qualified and unable to support the complex needs, which from my perspective is not so helpful… I mean try living it daily !

A good friend with a similar household sent me this link and asked if it sounded familiar !

http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/related-conditions/pda-pathological-demand-avoidance-syndrome.aspx

It does !

What are my unreasonable ‘demands’
To get up, take medicine with a drink, get dressed, take care of personal hygiene and body needs…….
Just the basics !

Still I suppose I should be grateful atleast today it’s okay for me to breathe ATM 😉

Some days it’s difficult to find the positives to pick myself up believe in what I do but I try and I try torrent others with kindness

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Rules to build confidence

Found via Facebook and thought I would share

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Is it just me or is this all abit me me me!!!!

wheres the respect others?
Or treat people as you wish to be treated ?
Try look after your environment and those in it !

These can give confidence and compassion!

There seems to me, a huge focus on naristic attitudes, you need to be selfish to be confident ?

I think I would rather have balance and accept insecurity but not give in to it than be all consuming ?

No doubt that isn’t the intention of the picture but I live in an environment with people who lack some social skills and me myself and I, consumes them and it doesn’t in my opinion breed self confidence !

So balance, consideration and acceptance not confidence at all cost of others sits better.

Calling house come in doctor house!!!!

As expected my trip to the doctors came with the sorry I have no idea why your foot randomly swells after all the tests nothing is conclusive,
so…
Well….
It could be….
It might be…
Ur ermmmm …..
My best guess is !!!
(feels like I need a drum roll)
Arthritis some form of it probably!!!

Well that clears that up !

So best we can do for now is treat the symptoms and monitor it ( you mean like I have been doing this year !)

As for the rest…

Dizzy spells, weight gain, constant thirst,sweating, etc ….

no idea I suggest you carry on as you are, some people can eat a lettuce leaf and put on weight it just means they need half a lettuce leaf!!

Remind me again five hundred calories a day is good ???

It’s okay you can be fat and fit 😉

And your doing so well considering all you have to deal with, keep a diary and note any triggers come back if anything new or dramatic happens !

Clear as mud then ……

Still I can walk and talk the new pain killers will ease the ouch and I carry on filling in food diaries !

Thinking of which wheat free appears to be working on some bloating and discomfort and is emptying the bank too 😉

Here’s hoping all this free February is worth it 😉

In the mean time I feel a call to doctor house is needed so I can bask In his superior sarcasm !

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Doctors for me for a change

Today I have my last appointment I hope with the gp about clubby … The last because I really don’t see the point in going back and forth only to be told they don’t know or understand why it is randomly swelling that came with too flu like sessions and since then my knees ankles hips shoulders and other joints ache like toothache !

It doesnt change that I am getting fitter (aided by pain relief).

it doesn’t help the stress load I carry with three kids with adhd and other issues.

So far they have no answers just suggestions so…

All visiting the doctors has achieved is make my realise my mortality and my bodies weakness, so since these regular bouts, I have changed lifestyle and diet but lost no weight and not changed shape 😦 but I can feel the difference in my snail pace running and classes so something is happening ! Even if it’s fitness that’s better than nothing !

To be fair the doctors have said many things over the years and have been proven wrong by what was expecte wheelchair user!

Although I would like a better idea of what I am managing I actually don’t expect one anymore….