In afew hours I get to wave good bye to these locks of mine and hopefully raise some awareness and money !
Everyone I know keeps asking…
How are you feeling ?
I struggle to answer because quite honestly I think I had my panic or stress out a few weeks ago and I am committed to doing this so I don’t feel a lot of anything at the moment.
Maybe it’s because I have another thirty six challenges to do after this.
Or maybe I am blocking it all.
But I wrote in hair today gone tomorrow about how I felt before and although the love for my hair is still with me, I do think I have accepted the loss !
I honestly hope I still feel this way on Saturday afternoon !
Well enough to hold it together anyway!!!
Autoimmune diseases take away so many peoples ability to be mobile, it effects their eyes, their ability to eat, basically every aspect of their lives can be controlled by something they can’t see.
The standard treatment these days seems to be to pump the body full of poison and pain relief each coming with it’s own series of side effects.
So if my bit of hair makes anyone stand up and realise that chemo patients are autoimmune suffers of all ages it has done something !
I am well aware that I sit here an undiagnosed ADHD adult.
A condition which sits happily somewhere under an umberella of co morbidities including Autism, I am also a survivor of abuse and domestic violence, I am ashamed of none of this, It is merely part of what makes me !
I have been described as the Borg queen by kind members of my nearest and dearest due to my odd mix of saying what I think, my fierce independence and reserved emotions!
Also the dislike of people touching me that I have not invited into my personal space although in recent years my friends have quite literally been shocked when I volunteered a hug which proved it was quite a thing in past !
Having seen the picture I see the resemblance in skin colour and soon to be hair style lol
I am not void of emotion I love cuddles and contact from those I allow in my personal space however I am just very aware of my own need for honesty and clarity !
And an opinionated old girl
People frustrate each other by both saying what they think or with holding that information and thinking themselves kind for doing so, yet by doing the latter they do themselves no favours as their body language and tone doesn’t match the content of their own words..
So the communication often ends up in a merry dance where the receiver is fully aware that the information is false or misleading and spends time either feeling mistrust or seeking confirmation which is usual repeated over and over the whole protesting too much story!
We have all been there !
“Yes that dress looks lovely”
said without any conviction, how quick do u change?
So what’s the point in false information ?
And what right does a person have to assume your too weak to deal with the truth or to stupid to realise someone is trying to play you.
I know I am not perfect and completely guilty of using this method, trust me when I say, it frustrates me and I feel dishonest, which is why I try not too and then get told I don’t have feelings or
I am Outspoken !
Honestly I do get offended by comments, as I know others do, that I have made (not my intention) but I will say I am offended but respect that persons opinion.
I understand my need for clarity and honesty is extreme and maybe a little Borg ish 😉
However I do not wish to assimilate anyone just seek understanding and the ability to be just me!
So in essence I accept that assumption or opinion of me, it no longer offends me as I also embrace and understand my reasons for it !
I am Borg !
One of four challenges for the 39 steps to 40 is to improve my dietary habits!
Being overweight and unfit means, I have been making some bad choices, some I will find easy to live without and others probably not 🙂
So I kick started healthy eating by completing a four day detox !
I used some of these recipes and afew I found on the internet.
My youngest daughter wanted to support me in this first challenge too and because she has a severe nut allergy we avoided the almond contents.
I expected a lot of caffeine withdrawal issues and Abit of hunger but I was not expecting the total craving for meat most predominantly sausages!
So after squashed breakfast and green tea and lemon.
There was plenty of water and more squash fruit and veg !
By day two’s end my daughter needed a real meal and I understood the need to eat normally, so I ate most of the ingredients of the next juice instead of blending it down!
We did the same the next two days and she had proper grub and I stuck to the list of fruit,veg and water !
Sadly the meat cravings were the worst and began dreaming of sausages and bacon.
So to love a sausage that’s not odd right?
I haven’t a clue how to cope with 4 weeks as a vegetarian, one of the 4 food challenges in this year.
Saturday morning came and a grill up of meat was sorted!
It was yum !
But I was mortified at leaving a sausage because after all that craving I couldn’t manage more than one
But there’s a BBQ later too.
Sure I’ll work my way through !
Do I feel different ?
Disappointedly not as much as I thought…..
I haven’t used weight as a calculating factor either as I haven’t weighed myself yet !
Am I surprised by the lack if coffee craving ?
And I will go decaf and more water as that wasn’t hellish. But no coffee forever isn’t likely !
The meat issue ! I think juicing will stay with me for a meal a day maybe too and but protein content needs reviewing. Especially if I use this to help in training.
Big bonus the kids like fruit and veg juices !!!! Whoop whoop!!
So first experiment in diet challenges all done !!! I still love food and sausages it would seem but I cracked it!
You can help me raise money for this great cause by donating directly to my fundraising page – http://www.justgiving.com/Vix-Mcbride.
JustGiving sends your donation straight to Arthritis Research UK and automatically reclaims Gift Aid if you are a UK taxpayer, so your donation is worth even more.
Thank you for your support!