When relationships breakdown things get difficult, parties involved frequently get bitter and about things, personally I left my ex with almost all our shared things as that’s what he needed. Things were important to him. He was struggling and I thought leaving him the house and contents would help support him.
Which he subsequently wrecked, As hard as I try to be a better person, I struggle to be okay about that.
he now has redesigned his life with the help of his mother.
And I have eighteen months left to finish off paying the debts built up before and during the fourteen months from when I left him.
Debts accured in my name because he didn’t pay any bills during the time just before up till the house was voluntarily repossessed after months of begging the banks to stop allowing this and trying to give them the keys, by the time the house was sold it was a wreck, most of the silly things that I asked for once but didn’t take, because he needed them were left and the house needed a major clean and was worth less than the mortgage.
Luckily for him bankruptcy saved him from his responsibility and his mum helped him keep his head above water. And by that I mean able to take several holidays and still appear to ‘own’ the businesses.
I know I shouldn’t be bitter.
Fair play to his mother she watched out for her son.
During a time when I as his wife and mother to his children could no longer do so as I didn’t believe in his skills anymore as a husband or father.
I deserted a sinking ship and got left with the wreckage.
In 18 months I am free of the massive debts, after six yrs, and I have raised the kids with very little court ordered support. ( £12 a week per child)
Now the point of this is not a pity party, although I do get frustrated by the facts, issues I face but to say in the last year I have seen The break down of three marriages and in those situations they ended amicably, I tried and failed the friendship thing as well)those people I have seen haven’t and as ex partners they have ensure there children are housed and taken care of before they thought of them selves.
I know I look and it hammers home the crazy way things are and have been. I am disappointed in the man I chose to father my children, I am disappointed In Myself for still hoping that somewhere In There the man I believed existed will place his children before himself and for my own jealousy when I see others not having to fight to just keep swimming !
But honestly more than anything I just like to be able to not feel it’s them v us in divorce to be amicable.
Not likely for me but really good to see it’s possible