Parents of special People have a unique sense of love and loyalty to their children but also a deep rooted guilt for their suffering.
After all we made these beautiful creatures and half of there spliced genes are ours.
I produced beautiful children, even if I do say so myself, but they all have collected a furious amount of negative genes.
Between dodgy immune systems and joints with a healthy amount of ADHD/asd traits, I have often heard these statements
“Oh your single mmmm well it’s a lot to take on isn’t it?”
“Why did you have another?”
“Oh my god you just shouldn’t of had kids, look what you put them through”
Now all comments like that are at best hurtful, but I roll with them and am often found saying sarcastically that
“Yes I know, I just shouldn’t breed! ”
Instant embarrassed silence or awkward blustering.
What I wonder is do these people think realistically if I thought my kids would suffer this way I would of had them without trying to prevent the issues or find a different solutions!
So my answer to it is this, I feel
Huge guilt and distress at my children’s suffering, I work hard trying to ease there pain or difficulties, but every day I wish I could change their worlds.
They behave in often horrible ways not because they are horrible but because they process things in a different way to the average joe, they often are selfish and arrogant, again because they process things in their world through a filter that is very self effacing.
This doesn’t make life easy
This doesn’t make life comfortable but they are no less worthy of love or involvement.
Those that segregate themselves, children from real people and the differences that exist, merely increase the divide and teach their own children that they are some how superior to those that don’t function the same way.
Equality and understanding it seems somedays has not moved forward from the fifties.
I worry for my children, I worry that the constant rejection from society will eventually crush their spirits, I know it has effected my own.
But they are vibrant, impulsive, inattentive bundles of misunderstood joy.
My hope is one day they find people who embrace their quirks and accept the whole person.
In the mean time it’s business as usual